huh

i have not had a lot to say lately. my health went waaaaay down south after the conference, though i think that was more related to my trying to taper off one of my meds than anything. apparently not a good idea. nothing feels worse than having a hardcore relapse, especially when you've been feeling moderately ok.

otherwise things are ok. i cut my hair short and dyed it purple and black, i decided i needed a change and i love it.

also for halloween this year i am going to be a skeleton, specifically one of those mexican day of the dead skeletons. it's a pretty neat costume that involves coating myself in black and white greasepaint and crystals. i like halloween a lot, i like costumes a lot in general. i like the opportunity to step outside of who i am, even for a short time i guess.


the conference itself was good. i was surprised at how comforting it was meeting so many other people dealing with masto...and i was duly impressed with how many of them seem committed to living their lives to the fullest...i felt sort of inadequate in comparison. i gave a presentation which was well received (though to be fair i spoke after a hematologist who told us we all had cancer - check the TMS page for the board's rebuttal on that one) and all in all i had a good time. i learned some, but i sat out the panel discussions that i thought would either stress me out too much (osteoporosis) or ones that didn't apply (mcad/pediatric stuff)

people eat a lot more food than i do. which is not to say i'm skinny, cause i'm not. but my diet is really really limited, and a lot of that has more to do with my sense of fear than anything. food and anxiety are my top triggers. so one of my goals is to try to expand upon my diet somewhat.

otherwise i am not too sure what to write about. i did a urine histamine for dr castells last week that came back as -12- so i'm guessing there was some sort of error there since last time i did the test it was 600. i'm still waiting on my tryptase and all of that good stuff.