Monday, January 7, 2008

like riding a bike

I have a few hobbies I really enjoy; videogames, reading, knitting, book binding, all things that can be fairly solitary and can really be done within the confines of my house (which is of course safe and masto proof) but one thing I really enjoyed before I got sick was djing, something I promptly stopped after my diagnosis. There were too many variables; flashing lights, people wearing perfume, standing on my feet for a couple hours at a shot (my osteoporosis is worst in my back and hips so that can get uncomfortable after a while). So many things that were once normal seemed ominous, so I retreated back into my insular world for a while to begin to gauge my triggers to see what was risky and what wasn't.

A month or so ago, a local promoter asked me if I wanted to spin at the club I used to have a residency at. I was equal parts elated and terrified. What if things went wrong? What if I shocked? What if I got so nervous I made myself sick?

Suffice to say, none of those things happened this evening. I dj'd for about 90 minutes and it was fantastic. I don't know if I lost myself in the music, in watching the appreciative crowd, but for those 90 minutes, the mast cells, the medications, the fear, it all just slipped away and it was fabulous.

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