tired

It's 1pm EST and I'm exhausted today. I don't know if it is my meds, the weather, a cold, or the result of being under or overslept. Regardless, it's annoying. I want nothing more than to get back under the covers and sleep for a few hours more.

My best friend came back from Chicago last night. Another one of his friend's girlfriend was recently diagnosed with having a benign tumor near her Thalamus...we were discussing the implications of this (it being inoperable, the area that is affected controls moods, energy, etc) and my friend made the comment that he wondered what his friend must be thinking, would he want to be in a relationship with her forever knowing she would most likely not get better (i guess surgery is very risky and not an option at this point) and would most likely get worse (intracranial pressure is a bitch I suppose) and I just sort of stared at him for a moment, thinking, "wow I can't believe you just said that to me" but instead I told him he should go ask my partner how they feel. Kinda bitchy, but whatever. I have on occasion had people complain to me about how daunting or terrible some chronic condition (rsi, fms) seems, and I never know how to reply. While I'm well aware of the effects that this will have on my body, the last thing I want it to do is sap away my empathy...The point is to eventually move this into the background so that it's not so...present.

In other news, there is this site called Yelp.com, where you can review local business. Since I'm not currently working, I've had copious free time to review a ton of place, as can be seen here. So I now have "elite" status, which means I get invited to all sorts of bar and restaurant events. Which should be interesting since my diet is still pretty restricted. I feel that until I get a better grasp on things I want to continue with the low histamine diet. It is far from the most interesting thing in the world, but at the very least it seems like a good elimination diet. I really miss cheese the most.

I need to shower soon. At 3, I'm going to see a hypnotherapist to see if it can help with the smoking cessation. Since mast cells have been linked to heart disease, and my dad suffers heart disease, and smoking causes heart disease, it would seem that the less smoking I do, the better off my heart will be.

So that's that. The last session was really interesting, I am hoping this one will be too. It is genuinely amazing the control the mind can have over the body. I know for myself, when I end up in the hospital with tachycardia (I dehydrate very easily which sends my bpm to around 150) if I meditate I can bring it down (obviously fluids and meds help too, but I'm usually hooked up to all the machines before meds are pushed).